Why when the proverbial hits the fan, we can pull a rabbit out of the hat...

On Saturday, I gave a TEDx Talk at TEDxNorwichED. This is no mean feat and is a roller coaster of a journey. I signed myself up for this months ago and even though I’d practised and practised and rehearsed and rehearsed, actually setting foot on that stage was one of the most frightening things I have ever done.

It’s ridiculous really because I gave a TEDx Talk last year with my Dad and daughter so surely I would be more mentally prepared this year. You’d think… Not so.

There’s been a LOT going on at home the past six months - some of which I have previously alluded to. My husband’s redundancy, SATs, both myself and my three daughters applying to do a TEDx Talk, being accepted and script writing to follow then hours of rehearsals for us all, school tests, all three children with rehearsals for the school summer production so lots to memorise, plus one mentally preparing to start high school.

We all face various challenges from time to time and it’s all relative. Sometimes, we feel like swans – on the surface, we might look serene but underneath, paddling like hell. Although for me recently, it’s more likely I've resembled a duck!

The great news is, the day before the big TEDx, my daughter got great news about her SATs and my husband got a job offer. Happy days! Yes, absolutely. Just the two TEDx talks to do then…

The big day arrives and it’s all about getting the butterflies into formation. My girls smashed it out of the park. I mean literally, they were awesome. So, just me to go. I only have me to think about. And I did it last year so it should be fine, right? Wrong. I was a mess. My talk was five hours after the girls and the range of emotions I went through was exhausting. Relief, nerves, fear, frustration, panic, anger (with myself), faint positivity and so on and so on.

I couldn’t fathom why I couldn’t get a Winning Edge handle on it. What was going on? And then I found an analogy for it. All this stuff had been in a compact ball that I’d kept in place, holding it together literally and metaphorically. With the SATs result, the new job and one TEDx ticked off the list, I’m left with just my TEDx Talk rattling around in this stress ball – nothing to keep it fixed in place because everything else had disappeared. And it seemed to magnify because there were not all these other concerns keeping it in its place, in proportion to all.

What to do? Fight or flight? Well, a pep talk from my sister Lindsey helped for a start – I needed to see everything I’d gone through the past few months was there to give me strength and my TEDx message was powerful – ‘I’m the kind of person who…’ In this moment, what was my message to myself? ‘I’m the kind of person who scarpers when the chips are down?’ No way! So, I harnessed that fear and turned the nerves into maybe not exactly excitement but well, to an attitude that would get me out on that stage and own it!

And I did. I used what I’d gone through in the past six months to get me out on that stage, to fuel me to deliver a talk I totally believed in: ‘How To Reinvent Yourself For Success’. I had talked the talk and now walked the walk. I used my experiences to fuel me.

My biggest learning from all of this is to own it, use it and do great things. It’s liberating and empowering and you will be so proud of yourself as a result.

Stand by stand by for my TEDx video soon!

“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease, and secure. You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Roy T. Bennett