The 12 Days of Christmas – the gifts I give to me… Part Two

The greatest gifts of all

Christmas is supposed to be a time of great joy, happiness and celebration. Let’s face it, in reality, we are all running around like headless chickens, spending far more than we should on gifts that people probably don’t need or want. People place such high expectations on this time of year and many feel under pressure to provide a sumptuous meal for that one day, and then it’s leftover turkey and bubble and squeak for the following week -and thereafter.

Some people might feel an added pressure this year to pull out the stops to make it extra special to make up for the past couple of years as COVID hung over us. However, this continued economic rollercoaster means finances might not permit extravagance.

For some, this time of year compounds deep grief and sadness, it’s not all shiny baubles and glistening tinsel. They perhaps don’t want a constant reminder of it being a time for happiness and togetherness. We might have no idea what’s going on for them.

It’s so important to look after yourself and during a time when the focus is on present buying, I have turned it around to what you can gift yourself. This is Part Two of our 12 Days of Christmas blog- a gift to you. The intention is that you understand the importance of looking after yourself and think about ways you can help your wellbeing now, and for the year ahead.

On the 7^th Day of Christmas, a gift I give to me:

Awareness of my self-talk

This ties in with affirmations because self-talk is an informal affirmation. Through our self-talk, we are reinforcing what we believe about ourselves to both ourselves and to others. How often do you say things such as: ‘I’m such a control freak! I need to be on top of everything or else I feel anxious.’ Or: ‘I’m so disorganised. I’m always losing my keys, misplace my wallet/purse, lose lists.’ Maybe you say you’re hopeless with money and just can’t save for anything, that you’re always in debt. Or that you wish you could be more focused and achieve more. Where do these beliefs come from? And why do we perpetuate them, reinforcing them every day by saying them to ourselves either in our head, or by describing ourselves to others? It’s about intercepting the self-talk cycle– cutting the negative off at the pass and creating a positive self-fulfilling prophecy which means we will feel differently about ourselves and accordingly, behave differently building habits which serve us well, finding ourselves with a brand new set of circumstances. All because we changed the way we thought about ourselves and the way we spoke about ourselves. Mindset Magic.

On the 8^th Day of Christmas, a gift I gave to me:

Reflection on who I really am

And following neatly on from self-talk is our self-image. We tell ourselves stories about who we are such as: ‘I’m the kind of person who always feels nervous when I meet new people’, or: ‘I’m the kind of person who is terrible with money. I can’t save and am always in debt.” Or: ‘I’m the kind of person who lacks creativity and resourcefulness. I envy people who are both those things, but it just isn’t in me.’ Based on what? What are all those ‘facts’ based on? They are just thoughts and thoughts change like the weather. Four very powerful questions a friend and mentor recently shared with me which Byron Katie teaches, are a method of self-inquiry:

• Is it true?
• Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
• How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
• Who would you be without the thought?

When you drill it down to these questions, it’s amazing how you can shed the stories you’ve been telling yourself about yourself for years and years.

Some of these unhelpful thought patterns are deep-rooted and it can take some time to turn that oil tanker around. However, I put it to you that if you want something enough, you can do it. For example, if for you have been filling your head with the belief that you always forget people’s names, that your brain just doesn’t hold onto them, and you were offered £1 million to remember 60 people’s names in an hour, could you do it? I’d hazard a guess that you could…  The amount of energy at our disposal is in direct proportion to our desire to do what’s coming next.

On the 9^th Day of Christmas, a gift I give to me:

A PE with Joe workout

OK OK, I know you’re not all into HIIT workouts but the gist of this is that movement and exercise can be transformative for our mindset. Joe Wicks talks about Captain Serotonin and how exercise helps to promote the serotonin in our bodies, helping to lift our mood. After a walk, jog, run, swim, workout, yoga etc, we will feel better. We might start out with a head full of worries, we then start to process them and think them through and very often, by the time we’ve finished our form of exercise, that concern, worry, anxiety seems to have been processed, without us coming to a conscious conclusion. Our mindset has shifted, and our subconscious is now in a state where it can be more solution-orientated. I cannot emphasise enough the power of exercise and the difference it makes to our mindset. I am positively evangelical about it (as though who know me well know!).

On the 10^th Day of Christmas, a gift I give to me:

A mental movie of my goal

Visualisation is a powerful tool in our mindset toolkit. High performing athletes use it. Double Olympic Yngling Gold Medallist Sarah Gosling talks about the power of visualisation and how she used it to not just see the realisation of her Gold Medal dreams coming true, but also visualising the process too. During one qualifying race, the Three Blondes in a Boat came up against an unexpected hurdle, one of them – Pippa Wilson, fell overboard. However, so focused were they on their goal of winning the race, they weren’t phased and didn’t falter. Pippa was hauled back into the boat and they went on to win the race. Gosling puts this down to a focused mindset and using visualisation – they knew what they wanted and how they were going to do it and had visualised it so many times that it became their normal – there was no question of it looking any different. It’s making that mental movie, a vivid visualisation using all five of your senses to imagine the process and achievement of your goal. It’s also building into your visualisation how you feel as you work towards and achieve your goal – your why. This reminds you of why you’re putting in all this effort. The subconscious mind does not know the difference between a real and a vividly imagined event so when it happens in real life, it feels completely normal. What is it that you want in life? What do you want to Be, Do, Have? Visualise it.

On the 11^th Day of Christmas, a gift I give to me:

Some golden time just to myself

It’s common to feel guilty when we dedicate an hour, morning or a day solely to ourselves. Of course, if you’ve been on the Winning Edge course, you’ll know that everything we do, we do for ourselves because it sits most emotionally comfortable with our values. That includes staying late after work to help out yet again to get a project finished, ferrying the kids to and from clubs, visiting the in-laws again etc. However, many berate themselves if they take themselves off for a walk, a day’s shopping, hanging out with friends, box-setting their way through their favourite show and so forth. It somehow feels indulgent. And yet it’s times like these that we recharge our batteries and feel emboldened for the next challenge that might present itself. Make some time for you, to clear your head, for some peace and quiet, for some riotous fun. And remember if anyone chooses to feel offended that you decided to do something solely for you, you can tell them: ‘It’s not against you, it’s for me.’

On the 12^th Day of Christmas, the gift I give to me:

A membership to boost my mindset

If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed which is maybe compounded by events these past two years, or maybe you fear failure, procrastinate, or maybe fear what success will bring you, these can all stand between where you are today and where you want to be. That’s where we can help you. The Mindset Coaching Membership can be your gift to you, or to a loved one. We will help you to bridge the gap between where you are to where you want to be with monthly teachings + coaching + accountability, equipping you with what you need to reset and regain control of your thinking. You can become the person you want to be and create the life you want to live - without the stress, anxiety and overwhelm. To ensure you make 2023 your year to gain focus and your sense of purpose, do check out the Membership. We’d love you to join the Mindset Coaching community!

So, there you have it, my suggestions for the 12 gifts you can give yourself over the coming 12 days, nay months. Put your wellbeing front and centre – put your oxygen mask on first, before you prioritise others, for you will be in a much better place to. Trust me. I do know about this stuff.

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” Andy Warhol

Do you feel like your self-belief and self-worth could do with a boost? Why not gift yourself the Mindset Coaching Membership during this festive season. Start 2023 with a bang!  

The Mindset Coaching Membership can help you understand the tools and strategies needed. With Masterclass Teachings + Coaching + Accountability, we will help you to create the future you want. Find out more here.

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