2020’s most viewed – The Mindset Blog Greatest Hits!

This time of year is very often one of reflection. In amidst the hurrying and scurrying, I have been thinking about the Mindset Blogs I have written and decided to take a look at the stats – which Mindset Blogs have been the most viewed and it’s no surprise really that the ones written during Lockdown Part 1, were the most looked at.

We had no reference point for how to feel at the very beginning of all this. When something happens, or we’re told something, we become aware of it and process it and then decide how we want to feel about it – we attach an emotion to the situation. This is all going on in our subconscious and how we choose to feel will depend on our past experiences, our values, morals and beliefs. For example, one of my daughters was telling me about something she’d read on Instagram (I lose count of how many conversations in my house start with: ‘The other day, I saw on TikTok/Instagram…’!). She said that she’d read about a girl whose Mum had died and… I stopped her right there and asked how old the girl was when her Mum had died. She told me she was 12. I consciously realised that right at that point, I was working out the filter through which I was hearing the rest of that story - deciding how I wanted to feel, based purely on how old the girl was when her Mum died. My brain was searching for a reference point. I have three daughters, all around the age of 12 – younger and older, and so I was thinking about how this might affect them. All this was happening in milliseconds, but this was me finding a reference point to help me to know how I wanted to feel.

When we realised the magnitude of this pandemic and the ramifications, we were searching for reference points to help us to work out our thoughts and feelings and thus our response to it all. Although COVID-19 feels a unique situation in terms of it affecting us globally, there have of course been other pandemics and epidemics as listed by the World Health Organisation. The Spanish flu pandemic in 1918 infected an estimated 500 million people worldwide—about one-third of the planet’s population—and killed an estimated 20 million to 50 million people. However, that’s not within living memory and therefore it was hugely challenging to get our head around how we could even begin to feel about the pandemic that we were living through. It affected us – and still is - in every facet of our lives – almost all choices we make are needing to factor COVID-19 into the equation. And this is perhaps why the Mindset Blogs were most read during this period; people were trying to decide how they were going to feel about it all. The mindset we chose to adopt during this testing time would either help us or hinder us. Only we could decide how we would deal with this - to be in denial, to feel full of anxiety, or to face it with a resilient, creative and resourceful attitude.

So, with no further ado, here are 2020’s most popular Mindset Blogs, and my top three takeaways:

1) The way you think about what you think about is far more important than what you think about

• The way you think about what you think about is far more important than what you think about
• Having some kind of plan as to what you want to achieve whilst safe at home, will give you a sense of purpose. Is it to start exercising, build stronger relationships – whether with those you live with or via the phone/Ipad/laptop, learn a language, read a pile of books, become proficient in a new skill, paint the lounge. The list could be endless!
• Grit, resilience and resourcefulness will get you through this with your sanity intact. Honest guv.

2) Newsflash: Your values are driving your decisions right now, not COVID-19

• There is a Set-Up in this situation with perimeters in which we can operate in. However, we can choose to flout some of these and that will all come down to our values.
• Our values drive our decisions – and these will be based on emotion rather than logic. If it were logic, we‘d all be doing the same thing.
• Take back a sense of control – be consciously aware of what your values are and thus why you make the decisions you do.

3) How we can turnaround that Groundhog Day feeling…

• Undoubtedly, this situation can feel like Groundhog Day, but you get to choose how you want to think and feel each day.
• Your thoughts and feelings will produce different results for you. Whether you’re constantly in your PJs feeling angry, frustrated or anxious or, you can feel resilient and have a sense of purpose. Same situation – two different ways of looking at it.
• There are 4 mindset hacks to break a negative thought cycle. Use them to turn your day around.

4) Always angry with the right person, for the right reason at the right time? That’s the challenge. So, what you gonna do about it?

• All emotions are valid – it’s important to ‘feel’ them, process them and work through the issue, rather than to invalidate them and slap a smile on.
• When feeling frustrated, vexed, disappointed or angry, ensure these feelings are not misdirected towards the wrong person or situation.
• Process. Reframe. Regain Control.

5) Why we need to tell our brain to step up

• It’s normal for us to take time to adapt to new experiences and unfamiliar situations. Our brain can struggle with the unknown and is forming new neural pathways to build the familiar.
• Whatever you’ve been putting off starting – start it now. Once you become familiar with it, you build it into your habits and it gradually becomes the norm, as opposed to the strange and the new.
• As Desmond Tutu so wisely once said: “There is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” In other words, when something seems overwhelming and daunting, try going at it a step at a time. Baby steps.

6) Why we find some people SO annoying!

• Remember the Scorpion and Frog story – people are people and will behave as they do
• Being judgemental is an interesting stance to take because what we’re basically saying is: ‘you should act more like I do’.
• Choose sanity – stop concerning yourselves with the actions of others. Play your part in keeping yourself safe.

 7) How the mindset you adopt will determine how you fare during challenging times

• COVID-19 is a lighthouse. We cannot change the situation, only play our part by taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions.
• Know what your go-to is that will shift your mindset from darkness to light.
• Having a structure for our day and a sense of purpose can help us to feel empowered.

8) Four steps to navigate this new ‘normal’

• Normal is different for all of us. Don’t be defined by anyone else. Find your own groove.
• In troubling times, our mindset might be the one thing we can control – but it is the most important thing to control. It will affect everything else.
• Four steps can help us to gain control of our mindset in any situation.

 9) Why it’s good to find the gift in every situation

• COVID-19 has meant a wide range of events and celebrations have needed to be put on hold for the time being, or at least, experienced in a different way. This has perhaps led to feelings of frustration, disappointment, or anger. But in itself, the situation has not caused those emotions.
• We have no time machine and cannot change what has happened, but we can choose our thoughts and emotions around it.
• There are good experiences that have come out of Lockdown and it’s important for our wellbeing to focus on those, as opposed to the ‘what could have been’.

10) My advice for a younger self

• We can learn from the past, but we cannot change what has already happened and so regret is pointless. We can make different more informed decisions moving forward.
• Mindset is key – with any endeavour in life.
• Self-improvement is a work in progress and so we can always learn and grow.

For good measure, because our mental wellbeing should be at the forefront of all we do in 2021, do listen to the podcast of my version of The 12 Days of Christmas – the gifts that you can give to yourself.

There we have it. The Mind Blog Greatest Hits of 2020. I hope that by reviewing them again, they are food for thought and that the tools and strategies shared, will stand you in good stead for 2021. For a belt and braces approach, remember that the doors are open for the first 40 founding members of the Mindset Coaching Membership. Through teachings + coaching + accountability, we will help you to gain clarity and focus, to gain greater self-awareness and help you to transform your self-belief thereby achieving your life goals. Give the New Year a strong start and sign-up!

Wishing you and yours a Merry Christmas and everything you strive for in 2021!

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